LOVE, LUST, MARRIAGE
Monday
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LOVE - You only leave the house to buy coffee and
doughnuts.
LUST - You only leave the house to buy condoms and
Vaseline.
MARRIAGE - You only leave the house when you're
allowed.
LOVE - When you write poems about your partner.
LUST - When all you write is your phone number.
MARRIAGE - When all you write is checks.
LOVE - When your eyes meet across a crowded room.
LUST - When your tongues meet across a crowded room.
MARRIAGE - When you try to lose your spouse in a
crowded room.
LOVE - When a rainy day means more time to stay inside and
talk.
LUST - When a rainy day means more time to stay inside and
have sex.
MARRIAGE - When a rainy day means it's time to
clean the basement.
LOVE - When all the songs on the radio describe exactly how
you feel.
LUST - When the song on the radio determines how you do it.
MARRIAGE - When you listen to talk radio.
LOVE - When it doesn't matter if you don't climax.
LUST - When the relationship is over if you don't climax.
MARRIAGE - When ... uh ... what's a climax?
LOVE - When you argue over how many children to have.
LUST - When you argue over who gets the wet spot.
MARRIAGE - When you argue over whose idea it was to
have kids.
LOVE - When you're only interested in doing things with
your partner.
LUST - When you're only interested in doing things TO your
partner.
MARRIAGE - When you're only interested in your golf
score.
LOVE - When intercourse is called "making love."
LUST - When intercourse is called "screwing."
MARRIAGE - When intercourse is a town in
Pennsylvania.
LOVE - When you share everything you own.
LUST - When you steal everything they own.
MARRIAGE - When the bank owns everything.
LOVE - When you phone each other just to say, "Hi."
LUST - When you phone each other to pick a hotel room.
MARRIAGE - When you phone each other to bitch about work.
LOVE - When breaking up is something you try not to think about.
LUST - When staying together is something you try not to think about.
MARRIAGE - When just getting through the day is all you think about.
LOVE - When you are proud to be seen in public with your partner.
LUST - When you only see each other naked.
MARRIAGE - When you never see each other awake.
LOVE - When your only concern is for your
partner's feelings.
LUST - When your only concern is to find a
room with mirrors on the ceiling.
MARRIAGE - When you're only concerned as to what's on TV.
LOVE - When your heart flutters every time you see them.
LUST -
When your groin
twitches every time you see them.
MARRIAGE - When your wallet empties every time you see them.