The Jokes Of November 2016

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Wednesday, November 2nd, 2016

A man who is just married is flying to the Florida Keys for a business trip. His new bride is to accompany him the next day. When he gets there, he e-mails his wife to let her know he made it there safely. When he sends the e-mail, he mistypes the address.

 

In Boston, a grieving widow, whose husband has recently passed away, receives the e-mail. She reads it, screams, and faints.

 

Hearing her grandmother’s cry, the widow's 18 year old granddaughter runs into the living room to see the computer on, with a message that reads, "Dear love, I just got here. Preparing for your arrival tomorrow. Can't wait to see you. Love, Me. P.S. Sure is hot down here."

 

Monday, November 7th, 2016

On the first day of school, the teacher asked a student, "What are your parents' names?"

 

The student replied, "My father's name is Laughing and my mother's name is Smiling."

 

The teacher said, "Are you kidding?"

 

The student said, "No, Kidding is my brother. I am Joking."

 

Tuesday, November 10th, 2016

There were two cannibals who captured a man. They decided it would be fair if they started eating from opposite ends.

 

After a few minutes, the one who started at the head asked the other one, "How's it going down there?"

 

And the other one replies, "I'm having a ball!"

 

Tuesday, November 15th, 2016

A little girl and her older brother were visiting their grandfather's farm. The older brother decided to play a trick on his younger sister. He told her that he discovered a man-eating chicken. The girl was frightened, and ran inside in fear. Then the older brother heard his little sister scream. He ran inside immediately. She was screaming at their grandfather, who was chowing down on a plate of fried chicken.

 

"What is it?" he asked.

 

The sister turned to him in fear and said," It- it's- IT'S A MAN EATING CHICKEN!!!"

 

Tuesday, November 29th, 2016

A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"

 

"Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.

 

"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"

 

Wednesday, November 30th, 2016

Bob goes to see his friend Pete. He finds Pete in his barn dancing naked around his John Deere.

 

"What are you doing!" asks Bob.

 

Pete stops dancing & says, "My wife has been ignoring me lately so I talked to my psychiatrist and he said I needed to do some thing sexy to a tractor."

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