The Jokes Of September 2016
Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Archives
Friday, September 2nd, 2016
Mother superior tells
two new nuns
that they have to paint
their room without getting any paint on their
clothes.
One nun suggests to the other,
"Hey, let's take all our clothes off, fold them up,
and lock the door."
So they do this, and
begin painting their room. Soon
they hear a knock at the door.
They ask,
"Who is it?"
"Blind
man!"
The nuns look at each
other and one nun says, "He's blind, so he can't see. What could
it hurt?"
They let him in. The blind man walks in and says,
"Hey, nice tits. Where do you want
me to hang the blinds?"
Wednesday, September 7th, 2016
Two tall
trees, a birch and a beech, are
growing in the woods. A small tree begins to
grow between them, and the
beech says to the birch,
"Is that a son of a beech
or a son of a birch?"
The birch says he cannot
tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if
that is a son of a beech
or a son of a birch?"
The woodpecker takes a taste of the
small tree and replies, "It is neither
a son of a beech nor a son
of a birch, It is, however,
the best piece of ash I have ever poked
my pecker into."
Now wipe
that smile off your face.
Wednesday,
September 23rd, 2016
Johnny was at school and the teacher
said, "Someone use fascinate in a sentence."
Sally
answered, "The zoo was
fascinating."
The teacher said, "Sorry, Sally,
I said to use fascinate in a sentence."
Maria
suggested, "I was fascinated
at the zoo."
Once again the teacher said,
"No, Maria, I specifically
said to use
fascinate in a sentence."
Johnny
said, "My sister has ten
buttons on her sweater."
Again the teacher said, "Sorry,
Johnny, I said use fascinate in a sentence."
Johnny replied, "I know, but her boobs are so big she
can only fasten eight."
Friday,
September 30th, 2016
A teacher asked,
"Johnny, can you tell me the
name of three
great kings who have brought
happiness and peace into people's
lives?"
Little Johnny responded, "Drin-king, smo-king, and f***-king."